Patterns, Colors and Shadows

Cracking rocks as a small child, hour after hour, making piles and piles of cracked rocks, was a wonderful way to spend my days as a small child. I saw inside the rocks amazing patterns and designs that lit up my little heart. The same was true of my visits to the creek to watch the ripples on the water. I would toss a pebble and watch the ripples, then toss another and watch what happened when the second ripples bumped into the first ripples. Shadows also fascinated me, as did droplets of light coming through the trees, patterns of berry bushes loaded with berries, patterns made by pebbles in the creek bed, patterns in a dried up puddle and so many, many, beautiful patterns everywhere. I could happily spend my days watching and absorbing these things.

Recently I was messaging my sister in Colorado who has a BA in Fine Arts from the University of Lethbridge. I asked her if she felt I am out of balance after another family member criticized me to what I felt was an excessive degree. My sister told me to disregard the criticism and to keep painting. She understood my fascination with patterns because she grew up alongside me. She even was moved by one painting that reminded her of excursions we used to take into the forest to where there was a tiny cabin. The painting is the one on the upper right above. She could even feel how the sunlight filtered down through the trees.

My recent artwork has been an explosion of patterns, colors and shadows. I did them on 12 x 12 canvases and just hung them sitting loose on the screw so that I can lift any painting down and sit and enjoy the patterns and colors. It was suggested by a well meaning family member that I am out of balance, making too many meaningless paintings. It was pointed out to me that the cost of paint and canvases for filling my walls with these paintings was out of balance considering that my refrigerator was empty.

So am I the proverbial starving artist? I think not. I am the senior on social security who gets income only once a month, pays the bills and runs out before the next months deposit day. That’s all. I justify money spent on art supplies as a substitute for anxiety meds. If painting and looking at patterns and colors is calming to me and I do not need prescription meds at all, how is the cost of my art supplies even a concern. I also choose not to drive anymore and have no car expenses. I am badly affected by fluorescent lighting, noise levels and crowds, so I don’t go out to eat, go on cruises, or take trips. My preferred outing is a walk down to the river to observe patterns, colors and shadows.

Do I have too many paintings of patterns? Perhaps by some standards. However, I live with four dogs and two cats and they have never complained. My grandchildren are my most regular visitors and they love my paintings and make plenty of their own. I have a whole wall just for them.

Recently I hung a new painting in one of my displays and took down one to make room for the new one. My three year old grandson immediately noticed the missing painting and asked what I had done with the “fire” painting that he really loved. I explained that I wanted to hang up the new one, which he said he liked as well. He went through my house looking for another spot to hang the “fire” painting and showed me where I could put it by the coffee maker. I did. He said “Now every time I go in your kitchen I will be happy!”

These are some of my displays. I have twenty of the pattern paintings in my living room.

This is a slightly different post than my poetry and childhood history posts. I want to use this website as a means of helping others, both on the spectrum and off, to see inside the mind of a person with autism. Every person on the autism spectrum is different, yet there are so many similarities that when I look at the art of many artists who have ASD, I understand and feel their art.